✖

girl-in-the-hitops:

striders:

Hey is the build a bear employee supposed to force us to jump up and down or are we getting hazed

as a build-a-bear employee it is my honor to happily inform you that we get to make everyone do whatever the fuck we want during a heart ceremony. jump to get that heart beating. rub that heart to your knees so your furry friend always needs you. rub it to your toes so it’s totally awesome! shake it up so it’s got enough energy to hang out with you all day! close your eyes, make a wish, and give it a kiss you helpless motherfucker

lmaonade:

mothercirce:

lmaonade:

no offense but i’m a cat i’m a kitty cat and i dance dance dance and i dance dance dance 

Are you fucking serious?

i would never lie

honestly-andrew:

vidafell:

terrapunk:

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Raviv Ullman by Kaitlyn Mikayla

#things i did not expect from phil of the future

Fem of the Future.

supersugoiboi:

violetohara:

the-polyhedron:

conquerorwurm:

violetohara:

violetohara:

violetohara:

violetohara:

Tiny dirty stray kitten hanging out at the bottom of our stairs since yesterday. There are a lot of self-reliant ferals around our apartment, but this little thing was dirty & covered in burrs. We gave it some chicken but couldn’t catch it. I think it may have wandered over from the outdoor cat hoarder colony down the street; that house is awful & we saw kittens there last week.

This morning the downstairs neighbor managed to grab it for us, and I put it on this cozy towel & started combing and picking the burrs & sticks out of its fur. It calmed down immediately and has been chilling here with me in the kitchen ever since. Got a vet appointment in an hour to get my little buddy cleaned up & checked out. I hope it isn’t too sick; I think it might have a cold.

If we can, we are probably going to keep her.

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What a difference a day makes! Took this little guy to the vet, got the fleas and dirt washed off him, got some antibiotics for a slight cold, but he is otherwise fine. Kneading and purring up a storm, eating a lot and being heart-crushingly adorable. 

We have named this glorious creature Nux.

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A little over a month later and Nux is growing into a very long and floppy shoulder cat!

Oh my god!!!!

i’m so happy for this cat i hope nux knows im proud of him

I just told him!

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moonpaw:

polyglotplatypus:

Love Is Stored in The You

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thenatsdorf:

Accidentally tasting peppermint. (via ponzuthecat)

corina-annie:

thetaxedermy-ofyouandme:

butchmachine:

switchbladesounds:

Jay Pharaoh’s John Mulaney impression

Holy shit

That wasn’t an impression John Mulaney possessed him

@thylovelylionheart

niggazinmoscow:

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Oh Lordy. There’s a tape. I can’t 😆😆😆

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jabberwockypie:

eternalanimation:

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“I will annoy you into submission.” is an awesome, awe-inspiring threat/promise.

whitepeopletwitter:
“Romance isn’t dead
”

whitepeopletwitter:

Romance isn’t dead

butchsandwich:
“ kittynomsonzombies:
“I HATE THIS I NEVER THOUGHT OF THIS
”
Goddammit
”

butchsandwich:

kittynomsonzombies:

I HATE THIS I NEVER THOUGHT OF THIS

Goddammit

anglo-saxintrash:
“ cerastes:
“”
This is how archaeologists hunt
”

anglo-saxintrash:

cerastes:

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This is how archaeologists hunt